


Baby, We’re the New Romantics

by Suxren



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), No Angst, Polyjuice Potion, Recreational Drug Use, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-27 20:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30128598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suxren/pseuds/Suxren
Summary: The best people in life are free.In which the class of 1978 have a bit of well-deserved fun.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 49





	Baby, We’re the New Romantics

**Author's Note:**

> i had a lot of fun writing this. like a lot. i hope you enjoy it as much as i loved writing it!
> 
> in this fic i have an OC i made a long time ago. you’ll meet her pretty soon. if you’re someone who needs a fancast for visualization, i imagine her to look like sidney sweeney from euphoria.
> 
> i also recommend listing to my marauders playlist on my spotify. really sets the mood. 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1FMqCxrOJuu0QXijH21hNI?si=H4MN5V2OSY2sYluiGXZm4Q

“NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH!” Marlene McKinnion shouted, quickly sitting up from her position by the fire. Her blonde eyebrows were arched high into her forehead and she had a single manicured nail pointed directly at Sirius Black’s chest. “You put your finger _down_ , Black!”

“What?!” Sirius shouted, indignant, head rising from where it rested on Remus’s lap. “I’ve never flirted with a teacher!”

“Oh, yes you have!” she sassed, tucking herself back under her girlfriend Dorcas’s arm. “Needn’t we _all_ remind you that you’ve asked Professor M out to Hogsmeade every trip since _fifth_ year?”

“She’s right, mate,” James supplied from the floor; him and Lily were shoulder to shoulder against the sofa. “You also dressed up as her for Halloween last year. Minnie threatened you with a weeks work of detention.”

Sirius sniffed and leaned over to flick James hard on his head. “Some brother you are, Prongsie,”he then pointed an accusing finger at Emerald Collins who was slumped over by Mary Macdonald, fire whiskey in hand and giggling madly. “Are we just going to ignore that _Emery_ also put a finger down?”

“It’s not a secret that I thought Professor Sinclair was hot last year, Black,” she laughed, rolling her eyes. “Nothing came out of it, though. Unfortunately.”

“ _ Unfortunately _ , she says,” Lily scoffed, shaking her head. “Sinclair would’ve been banned from ever being around minors if he even returned half of your advances from last year.”

“A shame, honestly.”

“Okay, okay,” said James, plucking the bottle of fire whiskey from Emery’s hand. “Enough of _that_ for you.”

“Since when were you my mum, Potter?” Emery hiccuped, glaring at her confiscated alcohol. “Last time I checked you’re my childhood  _friend_ , not my babysitter.”

“It’s the Euphemia Potter rubbing off on him, Em,” Remus quipped, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

Sirius grinned and leaned over to press a tipsy kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek. He said a quick, “ _ good one, Moonshine, _ ” before slipping his head back into place on Remus’s lap.

Remus smiled dopily, still getting used to the public displays of affection in front of their friends. He took another drag. 

“You know that kills, right?” Peter remarked from the opposite side of the couch where Sirius’s feet were dug into his side; he was pointing at the glowing cigarette between Remus’s lips. 

“That’s the point,” Remus offhandedly replied, and he felt a painful jab from Sirius at his side. “ _Kidding_!” he added quickly. “Kidding. I’m just taking the piss out of ya, Pete.”

“Right,” Peter squeaked, and Sirius snorted loudly.

“ _ Anyways _ ,” said Emerald. “Whose turn is it now?”

“I do believe it’s Mary’s,” said James, now nursing the bottle of whiskey he took from Emerald while Lily moved away to check on the potion she had brewing on the side.

“Oh, oh,” Mary grinned, sitting up to get a better view of the group. “I’ve got a good one.”

“So she says every time...” murmured Dorcas, and the group of friends laughed.

“And they’re always good, no?” Mary shrugged, snatching the fire whiskey from James and taking a swig. “Right, so on the topic of teachers...” she grinned wickedly. “Never  _ would _ I ever fuck a teacher just to get a better grade. Note the ‘would’, because I know most of you losers can barely bag birds your own age.”

“You know, I’m very offended by that last part,” Sirius said, but he put a finger down nonetheless. So did Marlene, Peter, and Emerald.

“Well, that’s just unfair,” Emery frowned after her sixth finger had been lowered. “I’m feeling very targeted.”

“That’s the point, love,” Mary winked. “I wouldn’t just because I’m a genius at everything.”

“Same,” Remus agreed. “There would be no need.”

“Speak for yourself, babe,” huffed Sirius, slipping off the couch to sit between his lover’s legs, head tilted back to stare up at Remus. “Not all of us got ten O.W.Ls in fifth year.”

“Maybe if you revised like I told you to,” Remus sassed, but there was no real bite behind his words and Sirius just grinned up at him. Realizing Remus didn’t have to hide anything anymore, he leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to Sirius’s lips.

“ _Yuck_ ,” James gagged, pushing a finger into his mouth to show disgust, and Sirius and Remus just carried on, ignoring him. “I swear it’s like watching my parents kiss.”

“I don’t think Effie and Monty kiss like that in front of you,” said Emery, wrinkling her nose playfully. “They’re a little more tasteful about it I think.”

Sirius just flipped her the bird making the girl snort while Remus pressed one last kiss to his lips and pulled away, looking quite pleased with himself.

“You lot are just jealous,” sighed Sirius, letting his head rest on Remus’s knee while his boyfriend aimlessly played with his long black hair. “Not our fault most of you are single.”

“ _Most_?” Marlene gasped, face screwed up in faux indignation. “I think by _most_ you mean Mary and Emery.”

“Take that back, Marls!” Emery cried, shaking a finger at Marlene. “You know I’m seeing that bloke from Hufflepuff.”

“‘ _ That bloke from Hufflepuff _ ’ Can’t even remember his name,” Dorcas snorted. “How many other blokes from Hufflepuff are you seeing, Ems?”

Instead of answering, Emerald gave the girl a wicked smile and a wink before downing a bit more of Mary’s fire whiskey. They all laughed.

“And I would _also_ like to point out that as of the fifth of August, me and Lily officially started dating,” said James, grinned proudly, having finally bagged the girl after six years of pining.

“That’s only because you deflated that big head of yours, Prongs,” said Remus, and both Sirius and Peter nodded in agreement.

James shrugged a shoulder and took the bottle of whiskey back from Emery again, drinking it in smaller sips. “Please, Lily has loved me at least since the summer before sixth year.”

“You get cocky when you drink, you know that?” Marlene challenged, not believing it. “You sure that’s not just the alcohol talking?”

“It is,” said Remus firmly. While James had a heart big enough to match his ego, Lily didn’t start liking James until the end of sixth year at the very least. “Speaking of Lils, where’d she go?”

“Here!” Lily called out from around the bend of the couch. “I’m here, sorry, I’m just trying to finish up the potion for tonight.” She sounded excited, and sure enough, the mop of red hair peaked out from around the sofa, a large grin stretched across her face. “It’s ready!” 

“So what’d you say we were doing again?” asked Dorcas.

“We didn’t,” James replied cheerfully, clapping his hands together. He began to push himself to a standing position, the alcohol causing him to drunkenly fall into Peter who quickly shot out to catch him before he fell over. “Thanks, Pete,” he squeezed a hand on his friend’s meaty shoulder. “Anyway, as it was me and Lily’s turn to come up with the games this time, we took the liberty of coming up with the grandest idea ever. All my idea, really.”

Lily appeared at his side, glaring daggers at her boyfriend’s cheeky smirk. “Don’t let him fool you, I’m the brains behind the whole operation.”

James threw an arm around her, a charming, lovesick grin snagging on his crooked canine. “That’s right. My smart girl,” he said before planting a wet smooch on Lily’s cheek causing her to flush a bright pink that contrasted badly with her ginger hair. 

“As much as I _love_ you both,” Sirius drawled from in between Remus’s legs, “can we get on with it?”

“Watch it, you mangy mutt,” James quipped back at him, dark eyebrow arched and finger pointed threateningly at his friend. “I’ll get the shock collar.”

Sirius barked out a laugh.

“I’ll explain,” Lily began, leaning into James’s side. “So the game is called... uh, well... It doesn’t _really_ have a name yet.”

“I thought we decided on ‘Guess the Imposter’, love?”

“That’s so unoriginal, though!”

James shrugged.

“Right,” Lily rolled her eyes, looking around at their friends. “So the object of the game is to guess the imposter—”

“We got that,” interjected Mary.

“—by guessing who took the Polyjuice Potion.”

Silence fell over the group for a couple seconds before Marlene finally spoke up. “Come again?”

“Two people will go upstairs with one shot of Polyjuice Potion, which is just enough for about five to ten minutes,” Lily informed the group. “One will take the Polyjuice Potion and the other won’t. The rest of us will have to guess who the imposter is.”

“Wait I’m confused,” said Peter, looking desperately lost. “But we’ll all know who goes upstairs, won’t we?”

“Yes, but we won’t know which person takes the potion,” said James. “Here’s an example: say me and Lily went upstairs and we both came out as two Lilys’. You’d have to guess which one is the fake Lily and which one is the real Lily.”

“I get it,” nodded Remus.

“Yeah, me too,” said Marlene, kicking at an empty bottle of fire whiskey. “Sounds easy enough.” The rest nodded in agreement.

“One problem,” Emerald sang, drawing everyone’s attention to her. “What about our clothes?”

“What about them?” Sirius frowned.

Emery rolled her eyes. “We’ll transform with our normal clothes still on, porridge brains. Dead give away from the beginning.”

“We thought about that actually!” said Lily, happy that someone pointed it out. “James, if you will.”

“Of course, Lily-flower.” James moved behind the couch and returned with a cardboard box. “I took the liberty of buying everyone plan black robes for the occasion.” He began to toss everyone a set. “Think of it as your Christmas bonus,” he winked.

“So who goes first?” Dorcas asked, already looping her arms through the big sleeves.

“We’ll spin the bottle to see,” Lily replied, taking a seat beside Mary and gesturing for James to sit beside her. She reached for the empty bottle Marlene had been kicking at, and placed it in the middle. “I’ll spin it, and the first person it lands on will go first. Then they will roll it and whoever it lands on the second time will go with them. Everyone spread out.”

After Sirius had detached himself from Remus, and Marlene from Dorcas, Lily reached out a hand and spun the bottle. The action was hardly fascinating, but the group of friends watched the bottle with unblinking eyes until it finally landed on—

“ _FUCK_ yeah!” Marlene shouted, pumping a fist into the air before quickly leaning forward to spin the bottle again. “This is gonna be so easy—“

The barrel of the bottle pointed directly at Remus.

“The bottle has spoken, Remy Lu,” Marlene said happily, stretching out her long legs and jumping to her feet; she swayed dangerously to the side. “Let’s go to your room, lover boy.”

She batted her eyelashes innocently at Remus who threw his head back to laugh. “You’re drunk, Marls.”

“Hardly relavent,” she winked sarcastically and held out her hand for Remus to take, fingers wiggling madly.

Remus took her hand and she pulled him up from the sofa with a grunt; Marlene fell into Remus, alcohol finally catching up with her, and snorted unattractively. Remus quickly grabbed the shot of Polyjuice Potion that Lily was holding out for them before Marlene decided to take it herself.

“Oi!” Sirius shouted after them with exaggerated outrage. “Paws off my man, McKinnon!”

“No promises, Black!” she sang dragging Remus’s lanky form behind her and up the stairs.

Once they disappeared into the boys dormitories, it was quiet for a second before Dorcas spoke, “Ten galleons says we’ll be able to tell right away.”

“That’ll be a waste of ten galleons,” sniffed James, and everyone nodded furiously.

Sure enough, when two Remus’ came stumbling down the stone steps, the task of figuring out which was Marlene proved to be very easy. Remus-One was calm and collected, his hands carelessly stuck into his pockets while Remus-Two was trying very  _ very _ hard to keep a straight face, cheeks puffed out and red from trying to contain giggles.

“Marlene is the one on the left,” Sirius said simply, barely needing to look at either of them to know.

The Polyjuiced Remus visibly deflated while the real Remus bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. “What gave me away?”

“Oh, nothing big, don’t worry,” Sirius replied, grinning widely.

After Remus and Marlene retook their spots in the circle and the bottle was spun twice more, the next pair to go upstairs turned out to be Peter and Dorcas. Peter showed to be rather bad at the game right away. When the pair came down a few minutes later, Polyjuice-Dorcas had her pretty face contorted with his signature nervous smile while her dark hands clasped themselves tightly together. The real Dorcas looked rather glum at the quick end, but Peter kept apologizing profusely as they took their seats again and Dorcas was enable to stay mad at anyone forever. Peter looked relieved when she just shrugged it off with an easy smile. 

“Okay, next!” Mary clapped, excited to get the game moving again.

The next pair was Mary and Lily who gasped and high-fived each other as soon as they were picked. Two Lilys’ appeared not long after they left, and they immediately proved to be a better matched team than the previous pairs. 

“What does Lily like to eat for breakfast?” James asked very seriously, hand running along his jaw in concentrating; his eyes were flicking back and forth between the Lilys’. “On three. One, two, three—“

“—Toast with lemon curd!” they both shouted at the same time.

“Okay,” James was beginning to look wary, unable to pick out his real girlfriend. “Okay, they’re good.”

“You’re just asking the wrong questions, mate,” Sirius announced, clapping a hand to his shoulder before turning to Lily one and two. “What tattoo do I have on my arse? Only one of you have—“

“WAIT!” James shouted in Sirius’s ear causing his friend to jump away, shoulders cringing up to his ears. “I know the perfect question.” James leaned forward and the Lilys’ looked at each other with identically quirked eyebrows. “When is my birthday?”

“March twenty-seventh,” the Lily on the right said while the other Lily just blinked guiltily at him.

“AH _HA_!” James whooped triumphantly, pumping a fist in the air. “Lily knows it for sure. Mary’s definitely the one on the left.”

“Final guess?” the right Lily asked, looking smug while the other refused to make eye contact with James. “You have maybe thirty second left to guess.”

“Yes, that’s my final guess,” James confirmed, chest puffing up. “I’m so good at—“

But James’s words were halted in his throat, eyes widening in shock as he watched the Lily on the right begin to bubble, her pale skin melting away to reveal Mary’s smooth melanin. She had a satisfied smirk across her face. “I win!”

James gapped at her soundlessly, and then finally pointed an accusatory finger at a shamefaced Lily Evans. He sputtered, “I- I- You- you _traitor_! How could you not know my birthday!”

“I’m sorry!” she apologized, looking sheepish while a few feet away, Sirius, Marlene, Mary, and Emerald were all doubled over into each other’s sides, hooting with uncontrollable laughter; tears of mirth were falling from their eyes. “You know how bad I am at dates!”

“Yeah, but not my birthday!” he cried, always for the dramatics. “We celebrate it every year! It’s like a big deal!”

Lily approached him and stood on her toes. She then rested her forearms across his shoulders, pulling him close. “I’m sorry,” she kissed his nose. “Better?”

James’s ears flamed, and his shoulders twitched where she touched him. He brought his hands up to rest in the dips of her waist. “I guess I can be convinced.”

The ginger smirked and curled her fingers into James’s unruly before tugging him down into a kiss that he eagerly returned, arms quickly embracing her.

“ _Yuck_ ,” Sirius gagged, imitating the motion James had made earlier towards him and Remus. “I’m not going to say it’s like watching my parents kiss, because you guys aren’t cousins.”

Lily broke away from James and looked at him. “A lovely little family you’ve got there, huh?”

“Oh, the best,” Sirius nodded solemnly. “The poster parents for incest and their Death Eater spawn is the best family I could’ve asked for.”

“I’m offended, Pads,” James wrinkled his nose, taking Lily’s hand to return them to their spot on the floor. “How could you call me a Death Eater?”

Sirius, who made deprecating jokes about his family so often it was becoming increasingly normal, looked almost relieved at his friend’s words; he smiled gratefully at him.

“Alright, someone spin.”

Lily spun it like usual and Sirius let out a celebratory shout when it landed on him. When the next spin landed on James, the pair hollered in delight and jumped into each other’s arms.

“Oh, this isn’t good,” Marlene laughed nervously as James and Sirius ascended the stairs together, each talking rapidly. “They’re like twins.”

“From another mother,” Emerald supplied, looking just as apprehensive. “This won’t be easy.”

Indeed, it was not.

The two James’ that appeared were already in character right from the get-go, matching grins and black robes covering their respective clothes; Sirius truly knew James’s mannerisms too well.

“This is bollocks,” Peter groaned not even a minute into the questioning. “This is impossible.”

“No, it’s not,” Remus called from the arm of the sofa where he had perched himself; another lit cigarette was stuck between his index and middle finger. “I know exactly what to do, but I figured I’d let you lot take a gander first.”

“I’m not giving up yet,” Lily said, her arms crossed and her face stony with determination. She began to pace the area in front of them. “What’s my middle name?”

“Jane,” said the James’.

“Who’s my favorite musician?”

“ABBA.” Neither of them missed a beat.

“What’s my mother’s name?”

“Elizabeth.”

“Okay, how does Sirius know that?” Lily asked, looking throughly peeved.

They both shrugged, and Marlene called from the floor, “If you haven’t noticed, they tend to tell each other everything.”

James-One grinned impishly, “Everything.”

Lily glared at them, eyes darting between both James’. Finally, she threw her arms up in defeat, letting out an aggravated sigh. “I quit. Emery you try.”

Emery tutted and stepped up to James-One and James-Two. After staring at them silently for long few seconds, she shot, “What does Effie make James when he’s sad?”

“French toast,” they said.

“How did me and James meet?”

“Our parents are friends!” 

Emerald thought for a second, wondering if she truly wanted to expose herself. But the answer to the question she had in mind would be something only James would know. She figured it was hardly a big deal in the first place.

“... Who did I lose my virginity to?”

There was silence. And then—

“Dirk Cresswell,” said James-One and James-Two.

Emerald’s mouth fell open and she gasped, eyes narrowing waspishly at the two in front of her. “James, you _conniving_ bitch! You told Sirius?!”

“Everything, Emery! _Everything_!” Peter cried dramatically, echoing Marlene from the sofa where he had retreated after giving up on the task.

“Remus get over here and figure out who the real James is so I can beat his arse,” Emery glared, and both boys glanced at each other with a worried twitch in their eye.

Remus stubbed his cigarette out on the bottom of his shoe, and flicked it into the garbage bin before making his way over to James-One and James-Two. “I’ll give Sirius a good whack for you, Em,” he gave them both a dirty look. “But telling them apart is rather easy once you know how to piss the other off.” His eyes darted between them, lips puckered while he bit at his cheek. “I mean, all you have to do is say Sirius is shorter than James. And he is.”

The result was instantaneous. James-One cracked up, chest doubled over to rest his hands against his knees, while James-Two did a visible double take like he had been branded with an ugly word. “You wanker, I am not!” he yelled defensively.

“See,” Remus smirked, and the rest of the group laughed uproariously at the clearly disgruntled look on Sirius’s face that had begun bubbling back into his own. “Easy.”

“That was a low blow,” murmured Sirius, melting into Remus’s side when he pulled him into a side hug, chest rapidly rising and falling with laughter. “It’s an inch. An _inch_.”

“An inch is an inch, mate!” the real James called happily, retreating to his spot. “Still taller— _ouch_! What the bloody hell was that for?!”

Emerald, who had been waiting for her moment to strike, had cuffed James upside the head. She gave him an annoyed look, “For spilling my secrets you tosser. Don’t do that again.”

James rubbed at his head while he took a seat next to Lily who was laughing at the exchange. “Noted.”

After another round, this time consisting of James and Emery that ended pretty quickly after Mary purposefully called her friend Emerald instead of Emery, they dispersed about the common room, dancing to the songs Sirius kept playing on his record player with a flick of his wand. By the fire, Dorcas and Marlene had their legs tangled, snogging languidly and only breaking away to giggle into each other’s mouths; on the other side of the fireplace, Mary and Emerald were slumped against each other, gossiping lowly, too giggly and drunk to remember any word the other was saying; Peter, pissed out of his mind, swayed by the portrait hole, a nearly empty bottle of alcohol clenched to his chest that he substituted as a dancing partner; Lily and James were on the floor, her legs straddling his waist as they laid there just talking about anything and everything in the world; and on the sofa, mirroring James and Lily, was Sirius and Remus.

“You know,” Sirius began, head resting on Remus’s chest and his heartbeat drumming against his ear, “I could stay like this forever.”

“Really?” Remus questioned, eyes staring up at the ceiling. One hand was carding through his boyfriend’s hair, and the other held the joint Sirius had rolled for the two of them; he put the damp end in his mouth and took another drag before passing it back. Sirius took it and flicked his wand, starting a new record. “Forever?”

Suddenly there was a gasp from the floor, and Lily was sitting back onto James’s thighs. “It’s our song!”

James, the lovesick fool, could only grin up at Lily as she pulled at his hands. The first lines of Paul Anka’s single _Put Your Head On My Shoulder_ began to play as the pair tittered to their feet.

“Dance with me?” James requested, pulling Lily into his arms, and burying his nose into her hair. He never wanted to pull away.

Lily sighed longingly, letting herself sink into James’s embrace; one hand gripping her torso while the other moved to hold her hand. Neither seemed to notice nor care that their drunken sway could hardly be called a dance.

_ Hold me in your arms, baby. _

_ Squeeze me oh-so-tight. _

_ Show me you love me too. _

“I mean, yeah,” Sirius said, pulling his eyes away from the loving couple in favor of looking at Remus. His eyes were rimmed a bright red, pupils wide in the dark. “Life’s only worth living in the moment if you’re with the people you love.”

Remus didn’t respond, but his heartstrings pulled painfully. He wanted that too; to live in this moment forever. He loved these people so much that it ached to think about ever being apart from them. Remus forced himself to put these thoughts away.

_ Just a kiss goodnight, maybe. _

_ You and I will fall in love. _

Sirius took a drag from the joint, slim fingers daintily holding it still, and Remus watched as he inhaled deeply, pretty lips parted around the paper. Carefully, Sirius leaned forward and Remus placed both his hands on his waist to steady him while he exhaled the smoke into his mouth; Remus inhaled shakily, heavy eyelids fluttering shut.

“You alright?” Sirius questioned from above. He sounded worried.

“Perfect,” Remus responded, mouth dry, and he opened his eyes after a second to find Sirius’s cool gray eyes staring deep into his own. He’d get lost in those one day, he thought absently. “I just love you.”

Sirius grinned, happy and content in this moment; he leaned down to kiss him.

“ _Love you more, Moony_ ,” he whispered against his lips, eyes closed, and oh so sweet.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked it :) this was to make up for my last fic.
> 
> follow me on twt if u want !! @siriusbff


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